'Twas the Night Before Ostara

Ostara is, depending on your tradition, either tomorrow or the day after.  For those of you not familiar with the big eight Pagan holidays, Ostara is our spring celebration of new life.  Many of the traditions associated with Easter were derived from Ostara celebrations, so even if the name is unfamiliar, you're likely to recognize some things.

The day usually goes something like this; our daughter, Jellybean, wakes up finds her basket of goodies.  We have a nice breakfast, usually hot cross buns, and spend some time outside looking for signs of life returning to the Earth.  Jellybean hunts for eggs, and our little family/coven comes together for a small ritual.

This year, however, nothing seems to be going as planned. The wife has a massive cold, and is working the morning shift besides.  Grandma is bedridden with an injured knee.  Funds are tight, so There's not much to put in Jellybean's basket this year.  Due to everyone's conflicting schedules, we don't have a ritual planned.

It's easy to get bent out of shape over these sorts of things.  I've definitely been fretting over how even a special day can seem like a hassle.  The problem, though, is not in busy schedules or bank accounts.  It's really all about perspective.  Before I sat down to write this, I grabbed three chicks out of the brooder to socialize.  The two silkies and the little porcelain quickly fell asleep on my lap, and our kitten, Strawberry, came to join the pile.  While I'm stressing about plastic eggs and formal ritual, I'm literally covered with the true meaning of the day.

Ostara is all about trust, and hope for things to come.  Sure, money is tight, and I don't see nearly enough of my partner.  But to be honest, things have always been that way.  Five years ago, we dreamed of having a family and a homestead to raise them on.  Four years ago, we were preparing for our first fertility treatment.  Last year, we built a coop and bought our first batch of chicks.  This has always been a powerful time of year for our little family, and the little balls of fluff snuggled into the crook of my arm remind me that there is always something new to look forward to.  Right now they don't seem like much, but I know that if I only nurture them and wait, they will soon repay that care by providing food and companionship for my family.

Winter has been long and trying, but spring and sunshine are just around the corner.

What is this thing even about?

I am sitting in my favorite armchair wondering, now that I've decided to start a blog, what on earth I should write about.  I've been told that I should have some sort of audience in mind, that I should write for a certain niche.  This is where I become stumped.  I'm a mom, but mommy blogging doesn't quite suit me.  Nor does a DIY blog, even though crafting consumes most of my free time.  I'm a devout pagan, but I don't really think I have anything to say on that matter that hasn't already been said better before.  If there were a need for blogs about being a queer pagan crafty homesteading parent, I'd be set.  As it is, I can't begin to pick one part of my identity to write about.

I procrastinate by watching our kitten, Strawberry, bask under the brooder lamp with the twelve beautiful chicks that will be joining our flock this year.  Beside me, my daughter plays dollhouse with my mother.  We're both waiting, exhausted, for my wife to come home from work and entertain her for a bit.  Three is a tough age.  My eyes drift around the room, and I am keenly aware that I should be cleaning.  It is my turn to host our monthly women's Goddess Circle, and I only have two days to make up for a week's worth of mess from when the whole household was sick.  I have the best intentions, but my ADD will probably get the best of me again.  Maybe I'll just sweep.

Somewhere along this wandering train of thought, I realize that's my answer.  I'm not one of those pretty and polished writers whose blogs are always perfectly written with beautiful pictures.  I'm more a slice-of-life sort of gal, and my life tends to be messy and convoluted.  I have chicks in my living room, sigils drawn on my walls, and at least a dozen half-finished projects still on my knitting needles.  If you're looking for a glamorous life to aspire to, I can point you to several great blogs out there.  If you're looking for a peek into an offbeat but happy life, stick around.  I can't wait to introduce you to the rest of the gang.